Birthday Parties...

I have always loved birthday parties, whether they are my own or my friends.

Reuben however finds them quite a challenge.

I think he likes to go to them if they are his friends from school, otherwise he hates them.

Last week, we got invited to my husbands Aunt and Uncle's silver wedding anniversary party. It was held at a social club and they had a singer and a disco.

I had already prepared Reuben for the party by talking to him about it a few days before, telling him what would happen when we were there. So it was quite frustrating when we were trying to get ready and Reuben was doing everything he possibly could to not get ready.

After his shower, he ran around the house naked refusing to get dressed, then when we did finally get clothes on him, he decided he wasn't going to wear that particular outfit and put on one of his Dad's old work shirts with a fireman tabard on top and a bag around his neck!

Once we sorted him out again (what seemed like the 10th time) Reuben decided he was going to sit in the living room and play Lego and not get in the car.

It took both my husband and I to carry Reuben into the car along with his bag of stuff. This would be the start of Reuben's protest into attending the party.

Once at the party, Reuben was quite well behaved. He played with some of the other children that were there and then came and sat by us at our table. This lasted for all of 20 minutes!

Reuben decided he was going to start moving chairs around, give out his toy cars to random party guests and attempt to put his face in one of the deserts.

We finally got Reuben to sit down and play on his Leap Pad for a while but that too lasted around 20 minutes as he then decided he would sit on the dance floor and tear up a polystyrene plate into pieces.

We ended up leaving the party after a couple of hours. As soon as we said to Reuben..."shall we go home now?" he jumped up, shouted "yes" and started for the door. A clear indication that he really truly didn't want to be at the party form the start.

This weekend however, was his school friends birthday party and all the children had to go dressed as superheroes.

Reuben was quite excited about going to the party and seeing all of his friends, especially as it had been half term and he hadn't seen them all for a week.

Getting ready for the party was a complete nightmare. Reuben ran off once out the shower and decided to put his pyjamas on and play in his room.

It took around half an hour to get his Buzz light Year costume on and after having it on for 5 minutes and me turning my back, he had got changed in to his Halloween skeleton costume and was in the garden lying on the floor!!!

Anyone would think he didn't want to go to the party, but what do you do???

I mean, I know he will love it once there and I really don't like letting people down at the last minute but is it just making more hard work for myself by taking him???

In the end, I got Reuben ready, put him straight in the car and belted him in so he couldn't run off or get changed..harsh, I know.

Once at the party, Reuben was off outside playing alongside all his friends.

Alot of the Moms were inside all talking amongst themselves but I like to keep an eye on Reuben as I never know what he will get up to or how he will react in certain situations, he also has not sense of danger at all.

As I stood there watching, I noticed that Reuben wasn't actually playing "with" any of his friends and that he he was quite happy running around by himself with just himself for company.

At one point, Reuben was sat on the grass by the slide pulling up the grass and tipping it all over himself, just watching all his friends running around and playing. This really did break my heart as his facial expression was that he didn't quite know how he fitted in with them all.

Reuben has some lovely friends at his school, and they all look out for him ad think the world of him. So, when his best friend "Olivia" came over to talk to him his face just lit up. But he still didn't get up and play. He just sat, pulling the grass up and smiled at her. Olivia then went off to play with the others.

Reuben loves his friends, and loves being in the company of them, but he just doesn't know how to play with them, doesn't understand their games and it makes me so sad to see him sitting on the sidelines watching.

Reuben's relationships with other children has greatly improved over the past year.

A year ago, Reuben would not have anything to do with another child, not even speak to them. Nowadays, he chatters away to them and loves to listen to them talking to him. He even likes other children playing alongside him which is also a big improvement as a couple of years ago he would attack any child that came too close to him.

I just  hope that as time goes on, he will develop more confidence and understanding of the games that his peers play and that he will join in.
As for future parties...I think we will continue to go to his friends parties but will probably spare him the frustration and upset of taking him along to other parties.